Are you pessimistic, grouchy and bored? Chronic low grade depression can feel so familiar to a widow that they don’t even know they have it. But it’s rampant among widows and it’s under diagnosed.
Widows cope day after day, just getting by and after a while life is tolerable. That consistent “not feeling really bad”, is interspersed with a few moments of genuine joy. If someone asked them, “Are you okay?” they wouldn’t know what to say. Unfortunately, many widows get worse before they get better. But there will come a moment when each widow will realize that just “not feeling really bad” isn’t normal.
Once diagnosed, low-grade depression can be a wake up call to take a hard look at your life. It can force a widow to acknowledge her pain and take on the job of figuring out what she needs and wants.
People don’t judge you by your appearance, shape or style as much as your attitude. Having an attitude of hope is amazing. Be grateful when doing activities that you can lose yourself in, where you forget about time and just live in the moment.
You understand that you don’t have to be accomplishing something every minute of the day. You are comforable with enjoying your choices and no self help books are needed at this time of your life.
You can’t leave life – it keeps on going. But you can free your mind to enjoy, to love and to be curious. Move into the present, enjoy what your doing and thats all. No phone, no email, just the moment. Moments of connections are free moments – time to use all your senses to enjoy the present moment.
Life is about opening doors, not closing them. It’s about the ability to forgive, even if we don’t forget. Talking out our feelings is better than holding a grudge or ending a relationship.
Are you ready to be well, happy and passionate?
If you can live with a sense of gratitude by daily writing down five things or moments you are thankful for, your life will change immensely. Remember that what you focus on will expand and your low grade depression will lessen.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
Tina M Jones
The trauma of loosing my sister, then my husband five days later, then six months later I’m in jail for something I didn’t do but was already accused guilty. Tore my entire world apart. Healing from it all has been difficult, but I’m healing. After two years, nearly three, I realized just how messed up I really was at that time…not sure how I was functioning but I was. Looking back, I was messed up bad, even my health was failing. But it slowly returning.
Mary Macdonald
Thank you for sharing, Tina. I am glad it’s getting better. You are not alone – everyone has been there in one way or another. For me, it’s been nine months since losing my husband. I look back and realize how far I have come. I remember a time when doing an errand was a major chore. With time, I seem to have found a different level of contentment (it will never be the same as it was). We have to move forward for the sake of ourselves. It’s not easy at first, but seems to get better with the more you do. For me, working and keeping busy is the key and there are days where you have to push yourself to be productive. Thoughts are with all of you going through this – take care.
Sherry L Garner
I’m grieving and love and miss my husband, but I found out he didn’t leave me any life insurance and left it to his 2 sons and sister. I have 3 minor grand daughters I have been rasing since they were born.No Will, He left me with a mortgage on a house I may not get to keep, car payment, car and home insurance and all the utilities 2 of my grand daughters are disabled and I am disabled, we get disability.I do get his retirement and social security but it won’t be for 5 or 7 months And don’t get enough from disability to pay what he left with. Even though he has told me the 10years we were married. Not to worry if anything every happens to me you will be ok, taken care of. So I’m hurt, fill betrayed, lied to and I fill unloved. I pray all the time rebuke the devil for the thought I’m having. Rebuke him from my Home, Family my grand daughters and my thoughts because all this and the hurt is turning to Hate and I know GOD doesn’t want us to Hate. Please Pray for me and my Family that we get to keep the home we have been in for 11years.
Cherie Eames
So sorry to hear all that has happened since your husband’s passing. It is so hard when we find out things after they are gone and can’t ask them why they did what they did. My husband passed almost two years ago and my mom a week later. I don’t have time here to go into all that happened to me personally. I also lost other family members that I was close to but my grief has been the hardest with my husband and mom dying. I pray for you and your granddaughters. Satan wants us to give up and reject God. Don’t let him win. I will continue to pray that God will comfort you and bring others to help you.🙏