Making Decisions

Making Decisions can be hard because widows undermine themselves from time to time, and that means there is no clear path to what they should do.  We hold ourselves back by procrastinating, doubting ourselves or believing that we’re not capable.  These are thoughts, and not facts – we can overcome and change them.

Don’t be afraid to pivot if your choice isn’t working for you.  Give yourself permission to stop from going deeper down the decision rabbit hole.  If it’s no longer working for you think about your other options.

Focus on your priorities because making decisions isn’t just about logic – you need to foster your emotions and spiritual side.  Gathering expert opinions also helps us make better decisions.

Give yourself some grace/forgiveness because you deserve a pat on the back just for having the courage to make any decisions.  Tell yourself you made the best choice you could with the information you had at the time.

“So many dreams at first seem impossible, and then they seem improbable.  And then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”   Christopher Reeve

Two main facts that get in the way of making decisions are perfectionism and low self-esteem.  Procrastinating may be because you’re afraid of not being perfect and low self-esteem may stop you from going after your goal because you think you don’t deserve it.

We all have a problem-solving style:
  • A thinker is cautious and deliberate.
  • A visionary is creative and a big-thinker.
  • A gather wants to listen to everyone’s opinion.
  • An intuition taps into their emotions.

If a widow feels that the process behind her decision making was appropriate and she did her best, then the outcome of her decision doesn’t matter as much.  By acknowledging that she gathered as much information as she could and focused on the best thing for her, then she can minimize regret if it doesn’t quite work out as planned.

You are enough.  Instead of beating yourself up about what you didn’t do well, give yourself a pat on the back for all the decisions that you got right.  Doing your best is enough, because the biggest thing is believing in yourself.

Who you are today may not be who you are tomorrow.  As you know things can change in a second.  What you do or say doesn’t define your life, because we can make decisions, we can learn, and we can grow.

Dare to challenge yourself beyond your own preconceptions and judgements.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®

Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT)

Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”


Christopher Reeve, widows first year, widowed friendships, the sisterhood of widows, widow support, grieving, how to grieve, grief, life of a widow, #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve, #widowshelpingwidows


  1. Gail
    | Reply

    I can’t believe this arrived in my inbox today. I have a painter coming to paint the living room a brighter color and am struggling not to cancel before she gets here.
    Indecision is my enemy. I just don’t believe in myself right now.

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